MASH 12 MASH goes to Texas by Richard Hooker+William Butterworth

Author:Richard Hooker+William Butterworth [Butterworth, Richard Hooker+William]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

FROM HEADQUARTERS, TEXAS RANGERS

TO ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES IN TEXAS

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR AND DETAIN THE FOLLOWING GROUP OF PERSONS:

(1) HIRAM DALRYMPLE, WHITE MALE, APPROXIMATELY SIXTY YEARS OF AGE, GRAY HAIR, GRAY BEARD, 180 POUNDS, LAST REPORTED WEARING STETSON HAT, DENIM SHIRT, DENIM TROUSERS AND BOOTS. IS PROBABLY ARMED WITH COLT-.45 SINGLE-ACTION REVOLVER.

(2) SITTING BUFFALO, INDIAN MALE, APPROXIMATELY SIXTY YEARS OF AGE, BLACK HAIR, RED COMPLEXION, LAST REPORTED WEARING FEATHER, DENIM SHIRT, DENIM TROUSERS AND BOOTS. IS ALSO PROBABLY ARMED, EITHER WITH WINCHESTER MODEL-1894- .30-.30 OR BOW AND ARROW, OR BOTH.

(3) TEDDY ROOSEVELT, DESCRIPTION UNCERTAIN, BUT PROBABLY EITHER WHITE OR INDIAN OR BLACK MALE OF SAME AGE, PROBABLY DRESSED IN APPROXIMATELY THE SAME WAY AND PROBABLY ARMED. SLNCE HE WAS LAST REPORTED RIDING IN BACK OF TRUCK (DESCRIPTION FOLLOWS), HE IS PROBABLY EITHER INDIAN OR BLACK.

(4) WHITE FEMALE, NAME UNKNOWN, DESCRIBED AS THE SORT OF CHEAP PEROXIDE-BLONDE HUSSY WHO WOULD TRIFLE WITH A POOR OLD MAN’S AFFECTIONS. SUBJECT IS DESCRIBED AS YOUNG, WELL-TANNED, LONGHAIRED, AMPLY BOSOMED AND’ DRESSED IN STETSON HAT, DENIM SHIRT, DENIM TROUSERS AND BOOTS.

THE PARTY WAS LAST SEEN TRAVELING IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF DALLAS IN A 1948 FORD PICKUP TRUCK, RUSTY IN COLOR AND MISSING FRONT AND REAR FENDERS. SUBJECT DALRYMPLE IS UNDER THE PSYCHIATRIC CARE OF ANDREW JACKSON STEWING, M.D., F.A.S.P.P., BUT WILL PROBABLY DENY THIS. ON DETENTION, SUBJECT DALRYMPLE IS TO BE SEPARATED FROM OTHER MEMBERS OF THE PARTY UNTIL ARRANGEMENTS CAN BE MADE FOR HIS TRANSFER TO THE STEWING TRANQUIL GLADES REST HOME & DRYING-OUT SPA IN MIDLAND. OTHER SUBJECTS ARE TO BE RELEASED, PRESUMING NO WANTS OR WARRANTS ARE OUT FOR THEM, AFTER BEING WARNED THAT IT IS AGAINST THE LAWS OF THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS TO AID, ABET OR HARBOR A LOONY.

THE HEAD TEXAS RANGER HIMSELF HAS TAKEN A PERSONAL INTEREST IN THIS CASE, AND ALL REPORTS ARE TO BE SENT TO HIM IN CARE OF THE TEXAS RANGER MOBILE DISASTER COMMAND POST, PARKING LOT B, TEXAS STADIUM, DALLAS, WHERE HE WILL BE UNTIL AFTER THE DALLAS COWBOYS-NEW ORLEANS SAINTS FOOTBALL GAME. FOR GENERAL INFORMATION, THE LOONY IS THE UNCLE OF MRS. IDA-SUE DALRYMPLE JONES, WIFE OF CONGRESSMAN ALAMO JONES, WHO HAS JUST ESTABLISHED THE WALLINGTON T. DOWD LAW ENFORCEMENT SCHOLARSHIP AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS IN HONOR OF THE FINEST TEXAS RANGER OF ALL TIME, OUR OWN BELOVED “WALLY” DOWD.

BY ORDER OF WALLINGTON T. DOWD HEAD TEXAS RANGER

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